I had some deep thinking occur the other night at 2am. I was thinking about the swim class I’ve signed up FITbaby and it was time for the first class. My former self [pre-FITbaby] would have obsessed over wearing a bathing suit in front of my friends…obsessed! I would have thought about it day and night for weeks or months. I would have thought about eating no carbs or less carbs or working out more. I would have thought about making sure my tummy was flat, etc.
Back to the deep thinking….I was wondering… “what has changed?” Why don’t I care anymore? What’s the difference? I discovered…a few things about myself that I thought might help others…..
Own It. & Forgive Yourself.
Making Fitness a Priority. I own that I am not working out as much as I should right now…barely at all most weeks. I know that’s bad. I know I’m not making fitness a priority. I know it. I own it. There is no one to blame but myself. Finding time for fitness is tough but important. I know that I will do better. I know that I am not making excuses. I am simply not making it the priority it should be. I have not fallen off the wagon completely…I am active. I am busy. I am moving.
Making Nutrition a Priority. I am making time for nutrition. We eat healthy [and we feed FITbaby healthy foods - read about baby led weaning part 1, baby led weaning part 2 & baby led weaning part 3] I am eating 80-90% well. But, I’m not doing organized exercise [Crossfit] and building back the muscle I lost the last two years.
Forgive Yourself. So, I owned it. I am not making fitness the priority. Therefore I’m not rock solid. But, I am NOT beating myself up for that. I am NOT feeling sorry for myself. I am not making excuses. The former me would have hated myself when I look in the mirror. Instead when I have time to look in the mirror I see the positives and the things I could work on but I love myself. I love that what I see in the mirror is what FITbaby loves about me. I am proud to be her mother and I think she’d be proud of me.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Forgive yourself for not looking perfect. I own that the reason I do not look the way I want to look right now is b/c I own that I am not making fitness a priority. This does not make me a bad person. I do not feel bad about myself. I do not feel sorry for myself. I am not ashamed of myself [like the former me would have.] I am not beating myself up for being lazy and fat. I am not beating up my body for not reacting the way it should.
Why are you overweight? Why aren’t you in the best shape? Why is that? Is it because…
- you haven’t made YOU a priority?
- you haven’t made fitness a priority?
- you haven’t made nutrition a priority?
- you are an emotional eater?
- etc. etc.
There are tons of reasons why…what are those reasons? Figure it out. & Own it. The first step to change is knowing what needs changing. For you to identify how to change you must know what the problem is. Own it. And, then, forgive yourself. Are you an emotional eater? That’s not your fault, but you have to change it. Do you need to seek help? Food is an addiction like other addictions. Seek help! Are you working too much and working out too little? [me.] That’s your fault [haha] but it doesn’t make you a bad person or less of a person. It is what it is. Now accept it. And change it. Remember, baby steps are all it takes to get started and often it’s baby steps that get you started on your way to BIG changes!
I am so much freaking more than what I look like.
[Check out the Styleberry Gift Guide 2011 for info on the pic above and the photo!] And the photo above was taken by the talented styleberry herself!
The next profound thing I remembered was how much less I care about what I look like. Don’t get me wrong. I still care. I still want to look beautiful for myself and sexy for my husband and stylish for my daughter. But I am so much freaking more than what I look like. I enjoy my life. I enjoy my family. I enjoy my jobs. I enjoy my time. I enjoy it all…even though I don’t have the perfect arms. I enjoy it all without thinking about how I look every minute of every day. I do not look in every mirror I pass by, because my brain is too full of more important things like…how to be a better mother, how to build my business for my children’s future[s], what needs to be done next, who needs my help and support, etc. I do not worry about wearing a bathing suit with my friends. If they are truly my friends they will not care if I have a six pack. My friends will love me for what I DO, who I AM, what I THINK, and how I INSPIRE them and not for how tight my butt is.
My point with this blog has always been to help women become free from obsessing over their bodies, feel good about themselves and separate their self image from their self worth. I wish I had the magic answer. I don’t. I know it is different for everyone, but I wish everyone freedom from hating our bodies…and freedom from hating ourselves for our bodies. I hope that I helped someone re-frame their thinking today…..please share this post and comment if I did that or if I failed miserably and made you feel worse, please tell me that too!!!