I had a hard time finding recent pics of me NOT taken on my iPhone. I’ll have to make it a point to do a Project 12 post with my whole body soon!
This blog is about fitness. and nutrition. and body image. and motherhood. and womanhood. and being the best YOU. I copied the following from my About Page and added emphasis for this post.
- to inspire you to take control of the things in your life you want to change and…change them!
- to empower you with the knowledge you need to be successful at achieving your goals!
- you to feel confident in your body, that it will stand the test of time and will give you the physical strength to live the life you imagined!
- you to feel the freedom to get dressed without tears and anger and go out into the world happy with your body, regardless of what the scale says.
- you to be proud of yourself and how hard you work every day and go easy on yourself when you slip up. We are human. We are not perfect.
- you to stop comparing yourself to other women and compare yourself to you.
I want you to BE WHO YOU ADMIRE!!!
I meant every word of that. I wish that for every woman.
All my life, I’ve been obsessed with my body…sometimes to the extreme with eating disorders. I talked about eating disorders…
- in an interview here and
- regarding Portia de Rossi’s book here and
- posing the question about bodybuilding and an eating disorder link here and
- in my post about my Figure Lessons here.
So, all my life, being obsessed about my body, I have wondered and worried about my body and pregnancy. Would I feel free during pregnancy from feeling fat? Would my body ever be the same? People ask me all the time, as if it’s ironic, how I went from the best shape of my life last year to the heaviest I’ve ever been (having FITbaby) this year. Well, that was the plan! That was my master plan. And, it worked out beautifully…at least I think so!
During the competition preparation, I realized what’s important. And, it’s not my figure. It’s not!! It’s more important to feel good than look good. It’s no fun to be obsessed with my body. It’s no fun to do hours of cardio a day at the expense of other things I love. It’s no fun to be hungry ALL the time. It was a great lesson. It was a great experience. But, honestly, had I waited until after I had FITbaby, I would have quit. Not because I think quitting is okay, but because I think that contest prep would have set a poor example for her…at 3 months old, at 2 years old, at 10 years old or at 15 years old. And, I would not have sacrificed her for that experience, or to look good.
During pregnancy I discovered more about myself. I did not like feeling like I was unable to move. That is why I like to be lean, and mean, and fit. I like to move and be active and enjoy life! And, having a belly slows me down! I also discovered I felt beautiful during pregnancy. I didn’t feel fat. I didn’t feel self-conscious about my body changing [except I hated the attention…so much attention for being pregnant! I much prefer now, where my FITbaby gets all of the attention!] My body was that way simply because I was growing a BABY! What a gift!
Did I struggle with body image during pregnancy at all? The only time that I found “hard” was before I started to show. I couldn’t fit in my pre-baby clothes. And, I wasn’t ready for maternity clothes. I had to go buy clothes one size bigger. That was no fun. But, it was short-lived! Then, I started to show and I felt uncomfortable. Not with the way I looked but with the way I felt….it was hard to move around!
I wrote a few posts during pregnancy about body image and I got a few responses…both in public and private messages…you can read many of them….
The point of this post? I’ve never felt better about my body in my entire life than I did the few months after pregnancy… Yep, you read that right. NEVER. FELT. BETTER. I have never been more confident. I have never cared so little how I looked. My body image…doesn’t freakin’ matter. Who cares! FREEDOM!!!! My priorities had shifted. For the first time in my life, there was something WAY more important than the way I looked. Did FITbaby care how I looked? Nope! Did FIThubby care how I looked? Nope! My amazing body birthed this 9.5 pound baby somewhat easily! Amazing! How could I punish this amazing body? How could I ask it for more than it was already giving? For once, I had more important things to do…take care of my body for my baby!
The first few months with FITbaby were ROUGH. I wrote this a few months ago….and I can’t change a word to make it apply now….
My little FITbaby keeps me too busy to care how skinny my waist looks today. My FITbaby has me in awe of her beauty and I don’t care about my own. When I look at myself through her eyes, I am the best. I am beautiful. She doesn’t care if I’m a size 6 or 8. She cares that I take the time for her. That I smile at her. That I look her in the eyes. That I am happy. My hubby is supportive of my hard work every day. He loves my new body as much as he loved the old one. I have never felt more comfortable naked. [Yep, I said that!] This body I have is amazing. It has done so much more than I ever imagined.
This does not allow for an excuse to be overweight and out of shape though! Still, to be the best mom I need to be the BEST ME. I need to work as hard as I can…at everything…not JUST being a mom. I need to be an athlete. I need to be healthy. I need to be smart. I need her to see and learn from all of it.
Just a few months post-pregnancy I lost all the pregnancy weight. But, that was still 5-10 pounds heavier than I “wanted” to be. [Even though I think pounds are a joke…it can still be a start to measure where you are!] Now, 7 months after having FITbaby, I’m just a couple pounds from my goal weight but again, that’s a joke! I have lost a lot of muscle b/c I have not kept up my heavy lifting workouts! I have not kept up my strength! Not to worry…it all comes back. Muscle memory is real. I am not worried. I will get it back. I will be strong again…stronger even than I was a couple years back!
Share with me!!!
How did you feel immediately post pregnancy? Was it hard? Did you feel FREE like I did?
And, stay tuned….I have a post coming on the images we have in our home and how they affect our girls. I’ve done some analyzing of the images I have posted in my gym and inspiration boards.